An Amsterdam Update

amsterdam

I’ve now been living in Amsterdam for just about two months. It was a strange thing to move to a new country just before a global pandemic was announced and everything shut down. I had one whole day to see/do what I could before prior to the distancing measures put in place. And I’m also working entirely from home because the office wasn’t open even to pick up my work laptop (it was shipped to me). So all of that has been very strange, but at the same time, I’m almost grateful.

If I’d moved here under regular circumstances, I probably wouldn’t have had the chance I have had to get settled in and explore. I get to see this city unlike I’ve ever experienced it before: with no tourists. It’s quiet, easy to get around, and so relaxed. Walks through the canal loop have been one of my favorites. I pass just a few people sitting outside their houses enjoying wine and the nice weather. A few others aren= on walks like me; taking photos of the abandoned Dam Square or deserted 9 Straatjes.

dam square amsterdam

My friends and family keep reaching out to me after seeing photos on my personal Facebook to comment on how happy I look/am. And it’s true. I am. It’s not that I haven’t had any days where I’ve felt lonely and sad. But overall, I dived right into this move and didn’t take a second to breathe or even think about it before coming. I worked until just a few days before I moved here, which meant I didn’t have time to stress or have anxiety about any of it. Even getting here, I didn’t fret over the normal things I would have. Yes, I obsessed internally a bit about moving a ton of suitcases and such by myself, but I managed. (And I have a lovely friend here who helps me when I need her.)

But here’s the truth of it all: moving to Amsterdam was the first active decision I’ve made for myself in a lot of years. Since 2013, actually. When I quit my job and left Austin to travel solo for a while, that was the last time I made a choice solely for my happiness. Since then, I’ve just been riding this wave of life and going wherever it leads me. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve had some great adventures along the way. And I’ve met some incredible people that I hope to stay friends with forever.

amsterdam

For at least the past 5 years though, I’ve felt like I wasn’t in control of my own life or my own destiny. I went and did what my company wanted me to do, which was fine while I continued to gain experience and pay off my college loan debt. But when that debt was gone, I started to think long and hard about what I truly wanted from my life. I could’ve stayed in Nashville for the foreseeable future, working a job that I liked and living a pretty cush existence, but it would’ve been at the cost of my personal happiness. I didn’t like the city. I didn’t like the homebody I was becoming. I didn’t have any desire to build a community there.

I knew that if I didn’t get out of there, I’d never break the pattern. I’d wake up at 50 and wonder how I ended up living all these places I didn’t want to; wonder why I was still alone and unhappy. I didn’t want to regret wasting the rest of my youth on living somewhere I wasn’t happy and working a ton of hours just to have a large paycheck. I decided that the move to Amsterdam, despite the almost $50k pay cut, was 100% worth it because I’d get to have a life here. I’d get to live a life I’d wanted for a long time.

amsterdam

And here I am. I realize it’s only been two months, but I often have to pinch myself that this is my life. I live in a beautiful apartment in one of my favorite neighborhoods in Amsterdam. I walk and bike everywhere now and things I wasn’t sure I would quickly adjust to, I have–walking to and from the grocery store sometimes several times a week; going to a different shop for all of my needs because there are no Targets or Target equivalents. It’s incredible how quickly you can adjust to a new life when it’s one that you’ve wanted and actively went for.

I’m in awe every time I walk through canal loop and remind myself: I live here. I live in one of the most beautiful cities in the entire world. This is my home now. And I urge myself to slow down and enjoy it because I don’t have to see it all in a week. I can come back at any time I want.

amsterdam

So, yes. If I look happy, it’s because I am. I chased after this dream with 100% of everything that I am. And despite the weird beginning, I am embracing it fully. I hope that my wide-eyed adoration of this place never ends and I find something beautiful here every day.

Author: Megan

Megan is an ordinary girl who outgrew her small town and decided to try the world on for size. She's on a mission to travel, photograph, and write about the world.

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